all the writing insecurities9:42 PM
Writing is a very complicated thing to talk about. During those rare occasions wherein people ask me about my own writing, it becomes really awkward for me. When I’m online I’m not any less incoherent.
I’m a very insecure writer. Like: I used to shift from one genre to the other, one POV and tense style to another, because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to try to be so hard like other writers. I’d check websites of authors and other writers and try adapting their plotting method, ways on titling and naming characters, the like.
Last year I was in a severe writing limbo. I didn’t get any draft done, I barely pounded a few thousand words out. I don’t think I even hit 10,000 words in total.
But I guess that’s okay, and here are three huge insecurities I’ve had and how slowly, I’m still trying to get over. I say ‘still trying’ because every now end then these statements find their way into my head.
I know lots of writers who rock at one genre, or one theme, or are great at plotting and creating deep characters. I idolized — and I still idolize — them because they seemed so cool and put-together. But this had a tremendous effect on me in terms of my own writing, because instead of focusing on exploring my own style, I tried to latch on theirs.
However: I’ve been writing seriously for only two years. I’m still discovering my own method, my own style.
I’m really bipolar about this. One day I’m reminding myself that my stories are needed in the world, even though I don’t know it yet, and the next I’m glaring at my computer screen because wow, this author has an amazing new book coming out, how will I ever write something quite as good?
However: now I’m finding those ‘good days’, wherein I actually try to see the worth of my writing, all the while knowing that my stories are still rough, and with time they’ll get better.
Note to you and me: there is none, and there will never be a set mold on what a ‘real writer’ should look or act like. Even though the grand and majestic online world contains websites and articles with people discussing their own thoughts that writers should write better than they speak, drink coffee and alchohol 24/7, and must write a thousand words a day, it shouldn’t dictate the way you as a ‘writer’ should be.
All I know is that words are coming out of me, I’m stringing the letters of the alphabet together, and I’m here.
In conclusion: to me, the world is built on subjectiveness. Every single person in the world has different opinions and beliefs, and so do people who pursue in different creative arts from writing to painting to photography to music. All we have is our own voice, and all we need to do is use it in our own way. It’s that simple and that hard.
- Andrea <3